Neighborhood Watchful: Inglewood Kroger Edition

Oh, East Nashville, you continue to make us laugh at ourselves. Here’s a little gem, recently reported on the East Nashville Neighborhood Watch page. David Gilmore – you, sir, are an idiot. And we agree, you are NOT safe inside Inglewood Kroger, in fact, we’re pretty sure you should not be shopping on your own, at any store, at any time. Also, we are sending you a babysitter, diapers, and some warm milk, as our gift to you!

Just a reminder--theft can happen while you're inside a grocery store. Last night I stepped away from my groceries at the self checkout to present my ID to the attendant only 15-20 feet away. It probably took less than a minute to do so despite the large crowd at the self checkout. When I returned to my self checkout station, my things had been tampered with and an item had gone missing. I dropped my guard believing that I was safe while inside a store. Lesson learned, stay vigilant. (Inglewood Kroger)

Post in ‘East Nashville Neighborhood Watch’

Just a reminder–theft can happen while you’re inside a grocery store. Last night I stepped away from my groceries at the self checkout to present my ID to the attendant only 15-20 feet away. It probably took less than a minute to do so despite the large crowd at the self checkout. When I returned to my self checkout station, my things had been tampered with and an item had gone missing. I dropped my guard believing that I was safe while inside a store. Lesson learned, stay vigilant. (Inglewood Kroger)

Please, East Nashville, be vigilant inside Kroger! We have to point out the absurdity of this neighborhood watch post – the least of which is that it even exists.

  • If someone had ‘removed’ an item from your already scanned items, we are 100% confident the self-checkout machine would have not only gone crazy, but also immediately alerted both you and the attendant with the annoying ‘Please Replace Item’ song it likes to sing.
  • If you had not yet scanned your items, then technically this item was not ‘yours’ to begin with.
  • Actually, since you had not paid, none of these items were even yours, anyways.
  • We propose that what actually happened was that you forgot an item, since any other explanation just doesn’t fit.
  • the self-reported ‘Large Crowd’ at the self-checkouts COULD have all possibly been in on it with the ‘thief’ since none of them observed your ‘theft’.

As you so eloquently stated, YOU ARE MOST CERTAINLY NOT ‘SAFE’ INSIDE KROGER. People can and will take your items at any time. In fact, you could just do their shopping for them and they’ll wait by the self-checkouts, to gather that one item from your cart that they happen to forget. You, sir, are an idiot.

Have you had items STOLEN from you at Inglewood or Murder Kroger? Sound off in the comments & let us know!

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3 Comments

  1. David Gilmore

    So, how does it feel to be an Internet bully?

    Reply
  2. White Person Living In Fear On The Eastside of Life

    I thought we weren’t supposed to call it “murder Kroger” anymore. Just someone I read online.

    Reply
    1. EN News

      Technically this is ‘Taser Kroger’ and ‘Murder Kroger’ is closer to downtown.

      Reply

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