Best of East Nashville Craigslist: Washer from Hell

Best of – directly from craigslist! Here’s a direct link until it’s gone

We’ve ALL had this washer and dryer before.

washerdryer

From the ad:

Greetings, friends. I am selling my GE washer and dryer set!
I know what you.re thinking, “Seems too good to be true to get a washer dryer set for just $100” but, alas, you would be wrong. You would be just as wrong as I was when I thought it was a steal getting them for $300.
You see, when I bought these previously owned machines off of Craigslist I was assured they were in working order, and they are, but lemme give you the rundown on these motherfuckers before you venture to part with your hard earned Benjie.

The dryer works great. I swear the thing gets hotter than the Devil.s dick. It will dry the fuck out of whatever you seek to dehydrate. It.s a hard working machine and it will NEVER FUCKING LET YOU FORGET IT. I recommend NOT trying to read, watch a movie, listen to music, or focus on anything other than how dry your shit is gonna get while this bad boy is doing its job. It is louder than the hounds of hell. Ideally, you can put it in your garage or, better yet, in your neighbor.s garage, and it alone is worth your $100. If you have to dry something that has a metal zipper, just go ahead and drop some shrooms so you can trip balls to its melodic, incessant clanging.

The washer… the washer is where I realized that I got had by the bastard whole sold me this set. Unlike the Little Dryer That Could, Will, and Does Loudly – the washer is uncertain of its motive. It plays by its own fuckin rules. You want to wash a small load of delicates? Fuck that man. Go round up all the towels in the house because you.re doing a king sized load in scalding hot water because this washer just decided that shit for you. If you have ANY type of PTSD at all, DON.T BUY THIS THING because, much like its counter part, it is ungodly loud. Only the washer is more interesting with its confusing slew of rattles, ticks, hums, and sloshes. You will never have any fucking idea what its next course of action is, so be prepared to fuck with the cycle knob 2,890 times. One thing it does well is the spin cycle. I.m surprised it hasn.t opened a goddamn black hole or imploded on itself. Once this warlock starts spinning it sounds like a tornado is approaching and will continue spinning ceaslessly until you fear for your life and shut that shit down by opening the lid. That.s another thing. This asperger.s havin-ass washer will never allow even a crack of light under its door, so when you.re feeling uncertain that it.s even washing and you try to sneak a look it stops. Sometimes I stir my clothes around with a broomstick for good measure.

So if you like adventure and (maybe?) clean clothes, these can be yours for $100. Just please come and get them out of my fucking house.

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